Pot
of Gold
“Look!
A rainbow!”
Steve
stopped dribbling the ball to see where is his little brother was
pointing. The rainbow stretched across the sky, curving down to
settle in a thicket of trees at the back of the field.
“Let's
see if there's a pot of gold at the end of it,” his brother said
excitedly.
Steve
rolled his eyes, “Billy, there ain't gold at the end of a rainbow.”
Billy really could be a gullible kid sometimes.
“I'm
looking anyway. And if there is, I ain't sharing it with you,”
Billy hollered while sprinting across the field.
Steve
dashed after him. “Not if I find it first,” he yelled. If anyone
was going to find that gold, it was going to be him. He was the older
brother, after all.
damn older brothers!
ReplyDeleteI liked this a lot, Jake. No gimmicks, nothing supernatural, no twists or surprise ending, just a gentle slice of life. Nice job! And I agree with your Tweet about the game selection on MLB Network.
ReplyDeleteHere's my story:
http://michaelsfishbowl.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/and-the-angels-sing/
I like it! The younger brother uses the older brother's "older brother" vanity against him! Sounds like they both go on to have an adventure together after all!
ReplyDeleteHere's mine -- (I bypassed the rainbow, but did keep to 100 words!) http://practicallyserious.com/2012/05/18/flash-fiction-the-pig/
LoL...thanks for the chuckle. So true to life. Hope they find that "pot of gold"...instead of "pot... and no gold" Here's mine:
ReplyDeletewww.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Isn't that just brothers for you? Nice one, you captured the relationship nicely.
ReplyDeleteOoops: Mine's at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/pursuit-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/
ReplyDeleteReally lovely. The simplicity of this is what sells. It says everything about the setting, what the boys were up to and most importantly their relationship and in so few words without going over the top. Loved it, so sweet.
ReplyDeleteGreat dynamic of brothers caught in your little story. I could easily see that very scene played out.
ReplyDeleteOops. Signed into my Google account under the real name, haha. That previous comment from 'Roxann' is mine.
ReplyDeleteVery true to life. Brother's are just like that. I know I had four of them. Here's mine: http://melodypearson.com/flash-fiction/may-18-2012-rainbows/
ReplyDeleteYup, I have an older brother and that's about how that conversation would have gone. I also enjoyed the kids' voices. Soooo spot on.
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/after/#comment-210