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| Amanda Gray "Outside Pecos" |
Last
Cigarette
I
could feel the chipping stucco on my back, still hot from the
pounding desert sun. So this was how it was all going to end, I
thought. At least I was going out with a bang. Or six bangs, really.
I
was warned that this was the likely outcome when I started doing
business with Pancho. Too late for regrets now, I supposed. The
crunch of soldier started moving away from me.
“Don't
I get a last request,” I queried.
“Like
what,” the leader asked, his accent worsening the sick thrill in
his voice.
“Cigarette,”
I replied.
The
leader hastily shoved the cigarette in my mouth, lighting it. I took
a long, glorious drag, savoring the spicy tobacco taste.
Hmmmm... Unfortunate ending for him. Too late for regrets is right.
ReplyDeletehttp://logo-ligi.com/2012/07/06/healing/
Intense. Dark. I like it.
ReplyDeletewww.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/encampment.html
Sad. Tough. Noir. Just how I like 'em! Very well done!
ReplyDeleteOh, so good. I liked it. Playing with fire is a dangerous game.
ReplyDeleteI'm here: http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/the-house-that-jack-built-ff-6712/
Should always be careful who you get into business with. Nicely done on setting the scene.
ReplyDeleteHere is mine http://yaralwrites.com
Oh. My.
ReplyDeleteWell written.
Thank you, everybody. I'm really glad y'all liked it. It was fun to write, as it is every Friday.
ReplyDeleteI think this is your first FF I've read, but it makes for a good introduction. Really nicely done. I can pretty much taste that cigarette, and it tastes good...and I don't even smoke.
ReplyDeleteBrian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/07/06/kyawe/)
Very good! I don't want to hear the shots either!
ReplyDeleteYikes! I bet that was the best cigarette he ever smoked. Wonder what he did to deserve that brutal ending? Nice work.
ReplyDeletegood texture.... I can almost see him inhale deeply.
ReplyDeleteFantastic last line, and I hope that final draw on a cigarette would've comforted him some. Also, "...his accent worsening the sick thrill in his voice."
ReplyDeleteHere's mine (The Missionary's Position) :
http://chriswhitewrites.wordpress.com/2012/07/07/the-missionarys-position/
It's very effective and dramatic, but in a subtle way. I really like what you did here.
ReplyDeleteGood one -- very tactile and the spicy tobacco -- not a great ending for the character but a very good one for the story.
ReplyDeleteI already told you I liked this one very much but I figured it wouldn't hurt to leave a comment. Some good lines, a powerful ending. I want to read more!
ReplyDeleteAmazing!
ReplyDelete